The selfish Selflessness : A Monologue

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A friend of mine whom I had fought and not talked with for long added me back on facebook. I couldn't but think… Back again are you? There was a time when we said we'd be the best friends forever. That we'd never fight again! How foolish were we! How foolish to promise ourselves and break it!

But then I've a confession to make. On why I became friends with you. It might hurt you or make you feel small, but then that's that: I didn't become your friends in first place because I liked you. I saw you what you were: impulsive, sensitive and with a child like brain to understand others. You get angry at others without understanding them. Also very possesive.

I knew instantly that you were the person whom I can play the role of a mentor. You fell for it. I was a patient man and you liked me for it. I put up with your mood swings. I allowed you to cry on my shoulders when you were very sad. Why did I do that? Because it made me feel good when I helped you. I wouldn't have done done it otherwise. You see, there is no such thing as a selfless relationship. There is selfishness in every aspect of every relationship.

I watched you develop brilliantly. You became not so sensitive; You were less impulsive. You developed from a kid into a good lady. I considered you as my sister. I was attached to you. Too much. But then, things fell apart. I could no longer play the role of a mentor.

Also, you became distant from me because of problems with your life. You did not trust me like before. I felt offended. I got angry at you in ways I could not imagine myself doing. The relationship was broken. You got distant with me as days passed by. So much that even a simple question like 'How are you?' was taken in a wrong sense. I do not know why… GO NOW! LEAVE ME ALONE! So much hate. Can't take it anymore. But then, I shall remmeber you as a star who shined upon my life for a few years.

I am not longer friends with that person.

Update 2014: We don't talk, but wish each other on birthdays.

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